I'm Afraid to Turn Around

Why, you ask?  Because mothers should have all had eyes installed on the back of their heads.  At least the mothers who have children like this:

Today, I have turned around to find my lovely son:

-trying to stick his finger in the pencil sharpener

-rummaging through the silverware drawer fingering the knives

-standing on a bench smearing lotion all over himself and the dresser

-shoving his finger through a banana and eating the mush

-standing at the sink on a chair playing with the faucet

-standing on top of the bag of toilet paper trying to reach the lightswitch

-pushing a chair over to the toilet to do who knows what
-licking my wood chair
-pulling the heads off my favorite Kokeshi dolls

AND IT'S ONLY 11:30!!