Are We Having Fun Yet?: Poison Control

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Poison Control

I just had a nice conversation with Poison Control. Turns out two whole Flinstones Vitamins will not kill a two-year-old little girl. We will not be purchasing candy vitamins in the future. Joey was so concerned that she was going to die that he bawled for 15 minutes. Grace was almost as concerned, but after all of this, and after my lecture on never eating anything unless you ask mommy or daddy first, Grace then asked for another pill. FYI, I think I'm out of the running for the Mommy Of The Year Award.

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Conversations

Matt: "Mom, I wish I could talk to those clouds up there."
Mom: "What would you tell them?"
Matt: "I'd tell them to go to our house and drop some snow on there."
Jan 2013

***

Grace: "I'm not having any kids."
Andrew: "I'm going to have three kids."
Grace: "Well, pick a woman that looks... pregnant."

***

Matt: "Mom, where are our locamarms?"
Mom: "Ummmm.... what is a locamarm?"
Matt: (While spinning in a circle) "You know, the things that go weeeyoooo weeyoooo weeeyooo! And then you STOP. DROP. And ROLL."
Mom: "Uh, do you mean smoke alarms?"
Matt: "Yes! Locamarms!"

***

Mom: "Matt, you are a pain in my butt."
Matt: (eyes get really big), "Yes!! I want to paint your butt... red!"

***

At my Mom's house:
(hysterical laughing...)
Mom: "Joey, what are you laughing about?"
Joey: "I just saw a picture of you when you were young, and YOU LOOK LIKE A NERD!!"

***

We were watching a video on the Mormon channel, the one where a husband gets into an accident, heals, and then it shows the husband and wife (who are probably in their 20's) sitting on a park bench. The camera pans around, passes a tree, and suddenly they are old (signifying, of course, that they lived a long and happy life together). Well, this confused Grace, and she made a weird face and shouted, "How long have they been SITTING there???"

***

Grace: "Mom! I found a flower in the back of the car!"
Mom: "That's awesome."
Grace: "It looks scary in there."
Mom: "In where?"
Grace: "In the flower. Can I stick it out the window to see if a bee will come get it?"
Mom: "A bee won't come for it because it's dead."
Grace: thinking, thinking... "So,... now it's a non-fiction flower?"
(5/2012)

***

Matt: "I want some fruit snacks."
Grandpa: "What's the magic word?"
Matt: "Go get it."
(3/12)

***

Mom: "Andrew, how old am I?"
Andrew: "29"
Mom: " And how old will I be on my next birthday?"
Andrew: "29"
Mom: "Correct. And how long will I be 29?"
Andrew: "Until you die."
Joey: "You're lying!"
Mom: "I'm not lying. That's how old I feel in my head."
Grace: "How old do you feel in your feet?"
(10/2011)

***

Mommy: "Matt, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Matt (with big eyes, speaking very slowly): "A BUTTERFLY!" (10/11)

***

As my mom was coming to pick up me, Ben, and Haley from Trek, with all the kids, she pulled into the parking lot. Andrew said, "Grandma, do you want me to just go get them and you stay here with the kids? Because there's a lot of Mormons out there!"

***

Grace: "Why are you using that purple shampoo on me?"
Mom: "Because this is what big girls use to keep our hair nice."
Grace: "So that you can keep me nicely groomed?"
Mom: "Yes, nicely groomed."

***

Dad: "Why are there no turn signs in this place? In Montana, we have turn signs so you know which lane to be in!"
Haley: "Dad. We're in Utah. People here are lead by the spirit!"

***

Grace and Matt were laying on Haley's top bunk, planning to sleep over. After a few minutes, Matthew started crying. Then Grace started crying. Grace then came out to the family room, completely straight-faced, and told Haley:
"There was no room for both of us. So we had to fight."

***

My phone conversation with Grace while I was at YW camp:
Grace: "Mom, I just need to tell you something."
Mom: "What?"
Grace: "I love you, and you love me. And I know why."
Mom: "Why?"
Grace: "Because Moms love kids, and kids love their Moms, and Moms have to be filled with love for their kids."

***

Grace: "Mom, can I be your servant?"
Mom: "Sure!"
Grace: "I'll do anything you want. Just tell me, and I'll get it for you."
Mom: "Great!"
Grace: (As she touches my arm) "I work for money."

***

Mom: "Now Joey, I want you to sit still during our conference and not get into any trouble."
Joey: "I never get into any trouble."
Mom: "You never do naughty things at school?"
Joey: "No.... I'm just lucky."
Mom: "So you do naughty things, but you are just lucky so you don't get in trouble?"
Joey: "Yep!"

***

Grace: "I'm a really smart girl. I did 4 smart things. Do you want to hear what they are?"
Mom: "Oh, yes."
Grace: "The first one was when Andrew was pushing me really fast, I put on the brakes.
The second one was when Andrew tried to pee on me, I went really fast.
Then when he tried to chase me, I stopped.
The other one was when we were in the bathroom and the lights were off, I knew where people were."
Mom: "Wow, you are a smart girl!"

***

Gracie: "The sun loves me!"
Mom: "Why?"
Gracie: "Because he's always shining on my face! Do you know what I call him?"
Mom: "What?"
Gracie: "Friend."

***

Andrew: "Everybody watch the fireworks! That's what we're here for!"
Joey: "No, we're here to see the dead people."

***

Mom: "Gracie, would you like to try ballet?"
Grace: "What is ballet?"
(We watch youtube videos of little kids doing ballet)
Mom: "Gracie, would you like to try that? It looks super fun."
Grace: "No, but I would like to learn how to fly."

***

Joey: "How old is Joseph Smith?"
Mom: "He died a long time ago. Before there were even cars."
Joey: "When there were only horses and camels?"
Mom: "Yes. Horses and camels. "

***

Joey: "Can Shoji eat a thousand rats?"
Mom: "I don't think so."
Joey: "Can she eat ten all at one time?"
Mom: "I hope not."

***

Mom: "You're just the cutest little girl I've ever met!"
Grace: "Me??!! You've met me before!"

My Favorite Quotes

MY FAVORITE QUOTES

"We're about to have a dead body." - Matthew
"What is dad's last name? You know, before he got married." - Matthew
(While chasing Andrew) "I'm losing speeeeed!" - Matthew
"Mom, I have to tell you about your soap. It feels like there's freckles in there." - Matt
"How dare you hit me in the motherboard!" - Grace
"Mom, where are our locamarms?" - Matt
"Hey, I know! Let's go to River Monkey (Lake Elmo)!" - Matt
"It's fun having only 4 life forms in the house." - Joey
"My favorite color is messy." - Matthew
(As we were driving through downtown) -- "I wonder what city this is." - Grace
"Joey, don't say poop. It isn't nice. It is called a bowel removement." - Andrew
"Eenie meenie miney toe, catch a potty if you know, which one will I eat? I think it will be chicken nuggets and I also think that it will be chips!" - Grace
"If Matt has kids, I"ll be their grandmother!" - Grace
"Mom!! We should eat rainbows..." - Matt
"Hey, Joey -- look at where Eric lives... You Nork!" - Grace
"Why do men get the wisdom and girls have to have babies?" - Grace
"Boys can do amazing things." - Joey
"I'm saving money by losing my wallet." - Grace
"Girls have fingernails, but boys have bigger hands because we are more rock-and-roll." - Joey
"Why is meat so confident?" - Grace
"Where is my coat with the lid?" (she means hood) - Grace
"Oh, crudnabbles!" - Grace
"If someone says they're a doctor, but they don't have the coat, and they're not a doctor, that's called lying. Or fifificus. I just made that up." - Grace
“We always forget to put those eating things in our mouths.” (vitamins) - Grace
"Joey ate 5 apples, and he pooped out an egg that turned into a mushroom." - Grace
"I smelled it with my humor." - Joey
"Wow! They have the same head!" - Unknown boy at school who noticed a strong resemblance between Joey and Matt
"Mom, Matt's bathwater just turned all brown!" - Joey
"Boys, stop fainting and go to bed!" - Mom
"My butt looks like scribble scrabble." - Joey
"I had a difficult day." - Grace
"You don't know what?" - Cousin Emma
"I'm the one that's natural around here!" - Grace
"When my knees are straight when I'm walking, I might be hungry." - Joey
"Mom, where's the copy copies (walkie-talkies)?" - Grace
"Mom, what do you want to be when you grow up?" - Grace
"I'm always thinking about Heavenly Father. Even when I'm eating." - Joey
"I'm older than this box." - Joey
"Big toes are bad." - Joey
"Lightening doesn't like people." - Grace
"If somebody is 200, and they don't have a cane, that's awesome." - Joey
"How do you call 911?" - Joey
"Pools are scratchy." - Grace
"I don't like boy stink." - Grace
"Do you want me to squeeze my funky tail?" - Joey
"When I was in the jungles with Daddy, I found a talking apple." - Grace
"I haven't had food for an hour! I might die!" - Joey
"Mom, remember when you had that big issue?" - Joey
"Can I have some seaweed with my sandwich?" - Grace
"This cheese and that song go together." - Grace
"Ketchup does not go in your hair!" - Mom
"Who borned you?" - Joey
"If I was an Indian, I'd be married by now." - Joey
"Mom! Matthew just licked my foot!!" - Haley
"Some parents are kind of funny. But you are not." - Joey
"It's good to have a Mom." - Joey
"I have to so bad go really poop." - Grace
"I am a genius, and I am serious!" - Grace
"Your butt is, like, renormulous!" - Grace
"That flower reminds me of Kourtney." (Ahhh, cute!) - Joey
"Mommy, you are not a genius!" - Grace
"I love you means your dad is my boss." - Grace
"When Jesus and Heavenly Father were painting the moon and the sun, they fell off a train." - Grace
"I have a owie on my forward head." - Grace
"Gracie, I'm very dissapointed of you." - Joey
"Grace, boys won't want to go out with you if you lick your dip." - Joey
"Can I have my own zip code?" - Andrew
"This house is American." - Grace
"The grass is very cuddly." - Joey
"I want to go to there." (30 Rock, anyone?) - Grace
"His nose is evil." - Grace
"I found a smoosh!" - Grace
"Where's your holder?" (bra) - Grace
"Are you puttin' on your boobs?" - Grace
"My carrot is no match for your face." - Joey
"Don't get run over by a woman!" - Joey
"Flagmastic" (fantastic) - Joey
"Malorina" (vanilla) - Grace
(Practicing the piano) "Mom, is it okay if I add a dramatic pause here?" - Andrew
"Do you s'pose me?" - Grace
"AAA Chhoooo! I bless you'd!" - Grace
"Mom, I fell on the trampoline so can you make me some cookies?" - Joey
"I'm a people." - Grace
"The trees pooped." - Grace
"If all the water comes out of your body you won't be squishy anymore." - Joey
"Burderer" (Hamburger, I think) - Grace
"Has anyone seen my bacon?" - Joey
"What you problem is?" - Grace
"She was remarkable" - Joey
"Where can I put this booger?" - Andrew
"I have a little bit of cereal in my nose!" - Andrew
"You can't be charged if it was an accident." - Joey
"My knees hurt. And I need a new pair of feet." - Andrew
"Brains are smart." - Andrew
"Thinking takes a lot of patience." - Andrew
"I want some shmarshmellows." - Gracie
"Hey, there's dad, and he looks like a bigfoot!" - Joey
"Something's exhausting my nose." - Joey
"Take the cow off the ketchup!" - Joey
"That's a fat, you hardies!" - Andrew
"Mom, you have a big butt." - Joey

Our Story

Ben and I met in 1999 in the Single's Ward at church (I know, I know). We were married in the Billings, MT temple 11 months after we started dating, and made an instant family with my four year old daughter, Haley. She was adopted and sealed to us a few months later. We later welcomed four more kids to the circus we call home. While life with 5 kids is very busy, and sometimes we just say "hi" in passing, we wouldn't change a thing. We feel like this is the best time of our lives, and we're trying to soak up every second of it. Kids grow up so fast - we blink, and then they're gone. We are excited to begin many new adventures as a big family, and we're glad to be able to share them with all of you!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Poison Control

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